4. A LETTER TO A PERSON YOU GREW APART FROM THIS YEAR: I DON’T THINK IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED “GREW APART.” BUT THAT IS A LITTLE LESS PAINFUL WAY TO PUT IT. I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS ME THAT PUSHED YOU AWAY, OR YOU THAT PUSHED ME AWAY. OR IF IT’S ME THAT ISN’T DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OR YOU. BUT THAT’S NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE MAIN REASON. IT’S HARD TO NARROW DOWN A LAST LETTER TO YOU, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IS SOMETHING I CAN NEVER END OR FORGET, IS YOU. I KNOW YOU HATED IT WHEN I SAID IT. BUT I JUST WANTED TO KNOW I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO UPSET YOU. AND I GUESS, MY PROBLEM WAS, I WAS BEING TOO CAREFUL. THAT I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE HURTING YOU. SO HERE GOES, I AM SORRY. IT’S NOT THE BRACELET I GOT YOU IN HAWAII. IT’S NOT WHAT I TELL SOMEONE WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY BUMP INTO THEM. I APOLOGIZE. MY HEART CRIES OUT FOR FORGIVENESS, FROM YOU. A SENSE OF INCOMPLETENESS WILL FILL MY HEART, WHEN I’M NOT SURE IF YOU’VE FORGIVEN ME. I CAN ONLY HOPE AND PRAY. IF TEARS AREN’T ENOUGH, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS. I’M SORRY FOR THE WAY I HANDLED THINGS, ESPECIALLY VERY IMPORTANT MATTERS. AS YOU KNOW, IT IS MY WEAKNESS. I’M WORKING ON IMPROVING. I CAN’T SAY SORRY FOR MY FEELINGS. BECAUSE THEY ARE REAL. I THINK FATE OWES ME AND YOU AN APOLOGY. IT’S SO FUNNY HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME, WHEN YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO READ THIS. THEY CAN SAY WHAT THEY WANT. BUT IF THEY FELT WHAT I FEEL, THEY WOULD BE SILENT. IF I HAD ANOTHER CHANCE, I WOULD PRAY EACH DAY, YOU OPEN UP AND TELL ME THE SILENT THINGS THAT KILLED OUR FRIENDSHIP. BECAUSE I WOULD BE SO SCARED, OF DOING SOMETHING THAT CAN DRIVE YOU AWAY IMMEDIATELY, WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING. I DON’T HAVE THAT MUCH INTUITION. I NEVER FORCED YOU TO SAY ANYTHING, OR DO ANYTHING. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES YOURSELF HAPPY AND WHEN YOU FELT COMFORTABLE, THAT’S WHEN I BELIEVED YOU WOULD SHARE WITH ME. YOU KNOW HOW GOD LOVES US SO MUCH THAT HE GIVES US THE DECISION TO LOVE AND SERVE HIM AND DOESN’T FORCE US? WELL THAT’S LIKE HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY ALL THE HOLIDAYS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL YOUR YEARS. I BEG YOU TO BE HAPPY. NOT JUST HAPPY. BUT THE HAPPIEST YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. I BEG YOU TO FULFILL ALL YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE OR WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR HOW MUCH THEY COST. I BEG YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF SO MUCH, THAT YOU CHASE WHAT YOU DESERVE, AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. AND RUN FROM ANYTHING STANDING IN THE WAY. I BEG YOU TO BE STRONG. I PRAY FOR YOU TO BE BEYOND BLESSED IN LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU’VE DONE. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE UNDESERVING OF BETTER THINGS, I PRAY SO GOD WILL OPEN YOUR EYES, AND TAKE HOLD OF YOUR HEART AND LEAD YOUR MIND AND HEART TO THE REAL HAPPINESS HE HAS PREPARED FOR YOU. I BEG YOU TO BE THE HAPPIEST. TO NEVER LOOK AT ANYTHING AS IMPOSSIBLE, TO NEVER FORGET THAT WITH GOD, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. I BEG YOU TO NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS FOR YOURSELF. I PRAY SO GOD CAN SHOW YOU HOW BEYOND VALUABLE YOU ARE. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, THAT YOU ARE THE MOST EXPENSIVE. I WISH YOU NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE THE MOST VALUABLE THING. I PRAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE. AND EVEN IF WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND CARES FOR YOU. JUST REMEMBER GOD ALWAYS CARES FOR YOU AND LOVES YOU, THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. AND THERE IS ONE MORE PERSON, I WILL ALWAYS CARE ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOU. NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD. WHAT YOU’RE DOING. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS OR HOW IT ENDS. REAL FEELINGS DON’T CHANGE, THEY CAN BE DISGUISED BY FEAR OR DESPERATION OR OTHER THINGS, BUT THEY NEVER CHANGE OR LEAVE. SO REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME, “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T SEE YOU OR HEAR FROM YOU, DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU.” THERE IS OUR ANSWER TO WHAT LOVE IS, THAT WE HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR SO LONG. YOU CAN SEE THE DAMAGE AND DEEP BLACK HOLES IT’S PUT US IN. BUT I PRAY FOR THE BEST ONLY FOR YOU. AND YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND FUTURE WIFE AND KIDS, COWORKERS, NEIGHBORS, ECT. SO THEY MAY BE THE BEST TO YOU. I ONLY HOPE YOU STILL MEAN WHAT YOU TOLD ME. I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. I WILL ALWAYS CARE FOR YOU. MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU, LEAD YOU, HELP YOU, AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER. I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS KNOW THAT, WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE, I AM STILL HERE. PLEASE DON’T HAVE FEAR. P.S NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT. I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. I KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU NEVER INTEND BAD THINGS FOR PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT. EVEN AT A RESTAURANTS, TO WAITERS AND CHEFS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. TO THE COUNTLESS HOMELESS INNOCENT PEOPLE AND KIDS WITHOUT FOOD THAT ARE OUT OF OUR SIGHT, BUT THEY ARE STILL IN YOUR MIND. WHEN YOU CAN NOT LEAVE FOOD AT A RESTAURANT AND TRY TO NOT ORDER MORE THAN YOU CAN EAT, TO NOT WASTE FOOD. LOOK AT YOUR HEART, IT IS MADE OUT OF PURE GOLD. WHEN I SAY, YOU ARE THE MOST VALUABLE THING, I HAVE EVIDENCE. TO YOU, I DON’T MISUSE MY WORDS.

Life keeps passing us by… And all we’ve done, is pull up a chair and watch…

You make me want to live…